It is the third day of a new year and I’ve got so much on my mind and my heart, I don’t have any idea where to start. One thing about a new year is the ability to try to get a foothold on the things which were hindrances the year before. At least that is my intention as I begin each year.
One thing very frustrating for me is the whole social media rage. When I joined Facebook six years ago it was all about connecting with people from my past and keeping in contact with new friends. The other side of social media was a way to connect with strangers with the enticing juvenile games.
As time progressed social media has become a stream of anti-political musings, blatant displays of witchcrart, disturbing media events, degrading exhibitions performed by children, instruments of misguided worship reducing God’s abilities to chain posts, disguised pornography, and platforms of ignorance. In case it is not obvious, I’ve become completely disillusioned by most social media sites.
I don’t expect many share my views, but I feel very strongly about how misguided our society has become. I have to admit I’ve been fighting off despair about the future. However, as I was praying and communicating with God this morning I realized this is definitely not my battle.
I don’t have the equipment to fight against the masses, but I can still make my beliefs known without shame or fear. It has also made my relationship with God grow to depths I never imagined. My desire to share what I’ve gleaned from the more intense studies is heightened. The urgency to share the goodness seem more important when the newsfeeds are so disheartening.
In my study this morning, I saw my prayer answered and found a peace to watch and pray. “For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;” Titus 2:11-12 KJV
That verse says it all for me today. Sober Saturday!! Smooches~~
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Thursday, January 1, 2015
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Bringing in the year
with snow on the ground and I’m drawing a blank. 2014 wasn’t horrible. As a
matter of fact it was better than the previous five. So gratefully, I emerge
into 2015 recovered, renewed and ready.
As I reminisced
through 2014’s experiences it occurred to me, I passed more tests than I
realized I had endured. As I do end of every year I go over my budget to see
how far I veered. As I was doing it I could hear where you spend the most is
where your real love is. Glancing at my
expenses and my income I got a good early morning laugh. The testing of my
finances brought about a lot more faith in provisions because I was still in
the black. For those who deal in finances you want to be running in the black.
It made me know beyond
a doubt, this chick has matured!! I won’t sit here and say I’ve reach some pinnacle
of spiritual awareness and puff my feathers, but truth is I’m extremely proud
of my spiritual growth. I promised myself when I first left Michigan I would
harbor no regrets.
Waking into 2015 I give
thanks to God with a new song! Oh, how many year beginnings did I shout that
same thing and usually a few days later have my head hanging to the ground? Well, my year has already starting out with a
physical challenge I’d rather not have to contend with. The irritation of not having a vehicle for
now six years was high when the challenge was presented; immediately I asked
for strength to do what is required. I look at it this way, either the pain
will be tolerable, or pain meds will be provided or God will heal my physical malady.
I’m proud of my commitment
to keeping my faith level greater than a mustard seed. This is not a time for
me to trust in sayings, but to build my faith and try my best to do as
prescribed. “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.”
1 Corinthians 10:31. We’ve all used to encourage others saying things
like ‘if he brought you to it, he’ll bring you through it’. Well if anyone said
that to me a few days ago there could have been some ouches shouted.
Being tired of
something will somehow give you a strange determination. It makes me think
maybe that is how David felt when he stood ready to fight Goliath. Tired of
being bothered by the same thing over and over again; pestered like having a
fly buzzing around your head. Annoyed doesn’t even truly describe and it makes
me think about R.Kelly’s song, “When a Woman’s Fed Up”. The untapped source of strength burst through
like water from a broken pipe.
As I was praying in
the New Year is was like my mind was a movie screen and I was shown all that
was being prepared for me in 2015. The
vision was like watching my list of hopes being checked off month after month.
My heart and mind calmed in the peace of restoration and recovery. Knowing God loves
me enough to finally open up a door to more knowledge of Him. I’m not afraid to
admit sometimes I’m bold enough to tell God his ways can frustrate me to no
end. I know I’m probably the only one who has shouted to God they were sick of
waiting for the right on time!
I rejoice in the
confirmations of the vision that came all day long yesterday. All I could think
of is trusting God is frustrating to my flesh, but my spirit is soaring on wings of eagles
and ready for a year of walking in the latter rain with no umbrella or boots. I
pray a brighter revelation of Jesus for those seeking him. I pray a New Year of
renewed hope; vivid dreams and spiritual broadening. Happy 2015!!! My year of
fulfilling my dream! Thrilled to be following Christ Thursday! Smooches~~
Monday, December 29, 2014
From January 2014
I spent the weekend going through my journals and I found this was necessary to share again.
From January 2014 - As I was sharing with my friend about how some days it was very difficult being saved and single, it began to make sense more why I kept hearing “this broken vessel” yesterday. When I made a decision to keep myself for my potential husband, I was also in the beginning stages of God healing me from recent hurts and many of the past hurts I had closed up in a hope chest; waiting for a chance to throw them away for good. The best way to describe how I was feeling is to give this visual. A puzzle with only the edges pieced together, but even all the edges were not yet connected. The middle of 2013 the edges had finally been connected and the insides were slowly being put in the proper place. As a single woman it is not easy for me to go through some things alone. Not that I am lonely, it would just be nice to have a strong Godly man to lean on so I can be the weaker vessel. Because I have been single pretty much my entire adult life, it was getting pretty old crying on my own shoulder, or that of one of my life long girlfriends. I am thankful for all of them, but I’m just saying it would be nice have a man to tell me everything would be alright. I’ve never been one to not have men pursuing me and the ones I allowed to catch me would have to really be something special. Even the ones that were allowed to be close would be only allowed certain access to any parts of me. But the ones who made the cut, so to speak, knew they were not husband material for me. Yeah, I said it, there are men out there I actually told they were not husband material. Because even in my disobedience I knew I needed to be with a disciplined man of God; with whom I was equally yoked in every aspect!! Anyway I said all that to say the last relationship, physical, was now four years ago and I was still not healed. I was still nursing the wounds and missing the man I thought I loved. I walked away because our lives were set on different sides of the country. He loves the south and I hate it. I love the west coast and he didn’t want to leave the life he had in the south. Of the four years I spent two of them crying pretty much every day. By the third year the tears had lessened, but when they did come they would last for a few days. It was this morning in prayer the Lord told me I needed to sever that soul tie. The Lord also told me that until I let go of the hurts and let him be the bond in the cracks of my heart; then I would only draw men who were not husband material. Because I’m not getting younger and I want to have a loving physical relationship with my husband I asked the Lord to help me understand and how to fix this mess I was in. I refuse to live another year all strewn out on a table waiting with unconnected edges. The answer I received was so clear and so precise it made me laugh. Pool of Bethesda!! God let me see the angel stirring up the pool and told me very clearly all I needed to do was to cut and dip. So I closed my eyes and ceremonially I saw myself cut the soul tie with that man and I ran to the pool and slowly submerged myself. Well I will let you know how things turn out because I’m still submerged. I want to make sure the water gets into every crack, hole and pushes through blockages.
From January 2014 - As I was sharing with my friend about how some days it was very difficult being saved and single, it began to make sense more why I kept hearing “this broken vessel” yesterday. When I made a decision to keep myself for my potential husband, I was also in the beginning stages of God healing me from recent hurts and many of the past hurts I had closed up in a hope chest; waiting for a chance to throw them away for good. The best way to describe how I was feeling is to give this visual. A puzzle with only the edges pieced together, but even all the edges were not yet connected. The middle of 2013 the edges had finally been connected and the insides were slowly being put in the proper place. As a single woman it is not easy for me to go through some things alone. Not that I am lonely, it would just be nice to have a strong Godly man to lean on so I can be the weaker vessel. Because I have been single pretty much my entire adult life, it was getting pretty old crying on my own shoulder, or that of one of my life long girlfriends. I am thankful for all of them, but I’m just saying it would be nice have a man to tell me everything would be alright. I’ve never been one to not have men pursuing me and the ones I allowed to catch me would have to really be something special. Even the ones that were allowed to be close would be only allowed certain access to any parts of me. But the ones who made the cut, so to speak, knew they were not husband material for me. Yeah, I said it, there are men out there I actually told they were not husband material. Because even in my disobedience I knew I needed to be with a disciplined man of God; with whom I was equally yoked in every aspect!! Anyway I said all that to say the last relationship, physical, was now four years ago and I was still not healed. I was still nursing the wounds and missing the man I thought I loved. I walked away because our lives were set on different sides of the country. He loves the south and I hate it. I love the west coast and he didn’t want to leave the life he had in the south. Of the four years I spent two of them crying pretty much every day. By the third year the tears had lessened, but when they did come they would last for a few days. It was this morning in prayer the Lord told me I needed to sever that soul tie. The Lord also told me that until I let go of the hurts and let him be the bond in the cracks of my heart; then I would only draw men who were not husband material. Because I’m not getting younger and I want to have a loving physical relationship with my husband I asked the Lord to help me understand and how to fix this mess I was in. I refuse to live another year all strewn out on a table waiting with unconnected edges. The answer I received was so clear and so precise it made me laugh. Pool of Bethesda!! God let me see the angel stirring up the pool and told me very clearly all I needed to do was to cut and dip. So I closed my eyes and ceremonially I saw myself cut the soul tie with that man and I ran to the pool and slowly submerged myself. Well I will let you know how things turn out because I’m still submerged. I want to make sure the water gets into every crack, hole and pushes through blockages.
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