Published - Edited by the Spirit!!

As my birthday approaches, I am feeling a little melancholy. It is mostly because this will be one of the first years that I will not be with or in close proximity to my sons. I think if my finances were better I would have thrown myself a party. The funny thing is with all the people I know, no one has ever felt I was worth throwing a party for. It has always been like an afterthought, with people saying things like, Oh yeah it’s your birthday or oh when is your birthday. Well enough of this pity party and on with where I feel led to share on my blog.

All last night and this morning I’ve been thinking about how often I’ve said I don’t care what people think about my actions or how I live my life. Well I’ll be darned if I wasn’t reminded of this scripture: 2 Corinthians 3:2-3 “You yourselves are all the endorsement we need. Your very lives are a letter that anyone can read by just looking at you. Christ himself wrote it––not with ink, but with God's living Spirit; not chiseled into stone, but carved into human lives––and we publish it.” (Message Bible).

It was so impressed upon me that I should care what people think of me.  Especially, if I proclaim myself to be a Christian, a follower of Christ. I guess my biggest problem has always been, I don’t want people to look to me as an example. I would always justify my slipping with the idea that just because I follow Christ, doesn’t make me Christ. Identifying myself as a Christian is just an outward demonstration that I wanted to be like him.

It was rough enough having to raise my sons trying to be a good example for them. Honestly, that didn’t work out so well. I slipped back and forth so much in their lifetimes with me, I may be the only reason my sons have had to suffer with some confusion over how to live a Godly life. Although, I fully believe both have a tremendous call on their lives. But because the only example they took to heart was me, they are running just like I did.

Then when I think about the times I was living anyway I wanted and how some people who would say to me; you don’t belong in this place or that place. Because I was so busy trying to get away from what I knew in my heart I was called to do, I would argue that point. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t love the Lord during my slipping. See, before I slipped or changed my lifestyle it usually after some serious disappointment or being utterly discouraged with my circumstances.

If we are real with ourselves, we will admit we all have something we judge others we encounter. We have our thoughts, beliefs and set of morals we utilize to justify why we feel a certain way about some of the acceptable things in society. Nowadays, so much that used to be classified as wrong and even laws against certain things, are now acceptable and even paraded in the media as the right thing.

One example that keeps coming to mind is this whole controversy of some individuals in southern states wanting to display the confederate flag. This is just my take on this whole thing. First and foremost, I totally understand why some southerners want to display it. Those who deep down would have preferred for the superiority ideologies, slavery and human ownership to still be acceptable. To hold on to the old idea that people of a certain race were not qualified or intelligent enough to exist without their guidance. This is why some see this flag as a symbol of pride and not racist or a painful reminder of what the population of Africans were forced to endure.

The whole idea the missionaries, of old, took with them when that went to other countries to colonize them. What is not ever discussed is the fact these countries and their inhabitants were doing just fine. They had their own ways and laws, and rules which were fine for the way they were living their lives. It was completely unsolicited assistance. I believe now things have changed in some of what is classified as undeveloped Nations. There is a want and a severe need for help to modernize.

There is nothing I can say to justify my slipping other than to say I was walking completely in my flesh and blocking the spirit that was gently and loving trying to get me to follow. Relying totally on God’s grace and mercy to do not deny my flesh and do what feels good and right in my mind. The truth of the matter is, God is a loving and would rather we  utilize the knowledge he gives freely to all, than follow the ways that seem right to man.

I’m finding I can no longer ignore Romans 8:11 “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” I’ve finally come to the understanding that I’ve been a Christian for over twenty-six years and am still learning how to walk this walk. Grateful that I am able to study and allow my spirit to be cleansed with the word and the love I feel. Not allowing my hurts and disappointments to cause me to allow my flesh to rule.

Taking to heart and being willing to be led by 2 Chronicles 7:14 “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” Finally, I can say with the utmost sincerity 2 Chronicles 7:15 “Now mine eyes shall be open, and mine ears attent unto the prayer that is made in this place.”